Personality
And Happy Marriage
What difference does the personality of partners make
to a happy marriage? What makes them live happy together? What
do they wish to see in each other to continue with the marriage
and continue deriving happiness? What are the factors that may
destroy a marriage? What is the role of personality in a marriage?
Same religion, same church, same circle, and even
same school with most interests' common -will these guarantee
a happy marriage? What do you think? Before proceeding further
it would be proper to talk about happy marriage. What is a happy
marriage? I would broadly define happy marriage as one in which
the partners like to be with each other, enjoy depending on each
other, love each other, and are happy to be with each other. In
a happy marriage when a partner meets the other in the evening,
he/she will feel genuine joy. They will miss each other when separated
for any reason. They like each other, and their love is not only
romantic but also friendly. They respect each other as persons
and when asked if they could live on an island all alone only
with the partner, they would answer yes without hesitation. They
do not need other distractions such as friends, kids or television
to live with each other in the pretension of happiness.
If you look around, you may be surprised that many
marriages are not happy. The marriages still sustain because of
the fear of pain of separation. It is not the pleasure of happiness
together that binds them but the pain of separation. What would
happen to kids? How will I live alone? What about division of
assets? The fear of the pain of separation is so massive that
unhappy existence together is considered better. Is this good
life? No, it is mere existence.
Coming back to the title of this article, what role
does the personality of partners play in making a happy marriage?
The first requirement that has nothing to do with personality
is love. Not the love of the passionate kind that may dies soon
but genuine care and affection for each other. The personality
traits that contribute may be for example - cleanliness. If the
husband believes in extreme cleanliness and the wife does not
bother a bit about that, do you think they will be happy with
each other? Half of the time they will have arguments about cleanliness.
This was only an example. Let us take another example. The wife
is of giving type and the husband is a real stingy person. What
then? Habits, nature, values, life goals, beliefs, and all such
traits that make us a human being are the important role players
in making a happy marriage. Emotional makeup plays an equally
important role. For example if one partner is quick tempered he/she
will make life difficult for the other. Think about all personality
traits, emotional make up and find out if there is commonality
in all these. Small differences are always ignored because of
the love between the couple, but if the difference in personalities
is big, love will also get sacrificed. Love that bound them in
the beginning will become the first victim of the differences.
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