6 Hints for a Happy Marriage
To many of us, an enduringly happy marriage seems unattainable. But any couple can take steps to make it possible.

If you live in Newfoundland, your chances of reaching your 30th wedding anniversary without filing for divorce are as high as 83%. For the rest of Canada, the odds of divorce before the 30th milestone are only about 38%.

But staying married is only half the battle. Being happily married is the other half. Here are six tips from marriage experts that increase your chances of living “happily ever after.”
1. Spend Time Apart

Having your own hobbies, friends and activities can “strengthen your bond as a couple and increase your sense of self as an individual,” says psychologist and relationship coach Paulette Kouffman Sherman. Individual interests give you an identity outside of your role as one half of a couple. “External friends and hobbies offer an outlet for tension,” says Sherman, adding that time apart can increase attentiveness and energy in your relationships.
2. Crack Each Other Up

“Pet names, silly faces, and laughing together are great ways to stay in love with your partner,” says marriage therapist Lisa Brookes Kift. “Humor can bind couples together and de-escalate conflict. It also strengthens friendship in marriage and keeps you close.” To stay united, Kift suggests telling funny “remember when” stories from early in your relationship.
3. Speak Up

Partners aren’t mind-readers! “If you want your husband to take out the garbage, don’t say, ‘How could you walk by that garbage bag sitting by the door!’” advises Sherman. “Instead, smile, and say, ‘Honey, it’d be great if you could take out the garbage.’” Further, genuinely appreciating your partner’s efforts may increase the desire to please you—so offer a big hug and thank your partner after he or she fills a need.
4. Settle Sexual Problems

“When couples lose touch with their sensuality, they lose feelings of intimacy,” says sex coach Trina Read, author of Till Sex Do Us Part. “A marriage can function without sex, but it can’t function without intimacy and touch.” To cope with erectile problems, low libido, or difficulty reaching orgasm, Read suggests being honest about your feelings, reading books together and seeing a counselor or doctor.
5. Fight Fair

“The chances of divorce increase if criticism, contempt, and defensiveness exist in a marriage,” says Kift. “If hostilities are high, take a time out to decrease angry feelings.” When you’re ready to talk to your spouse rationally and empathetically, Kift suggests carefully listening to your partner and paraphrasing what was said to reduce misunderstandings.
6. Be Clear About Cash

Arguments about money are often about something else entirely. Sherman says, “Money fights can symbolize power struggles or a need for control in the relationship. If a couple learns how to talk about money, and if they work as a partnership of equals, then financial matters aren’t an issue.” Money should not be used as a weapon—or resentment can build, says Sherman.